I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize