Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
