Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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