I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
