i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize