They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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