I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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