i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How external is "for external use only"?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
