How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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