You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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