I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I didn't notice because vodka
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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