there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you win again, gameday.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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