All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
