is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
