She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Bring me that man meat
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
