I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
