i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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