good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
