I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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