i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
