If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
