I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
