is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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