Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize