The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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