either way he was missing a nipple.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
