eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
