ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
