Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
