Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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