If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
