Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
