You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
