can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
