tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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