thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
