i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
