i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
