you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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