They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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