Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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