OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
