i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
