it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Randomize
