I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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