My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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