I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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