..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
