it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
