There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
