Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
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