Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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