that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
