I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
