fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
