I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Holy shit dude........stairs
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
