I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
