i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
