He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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