Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
